| Date: 13 December 2007
Characters: The Ninth Doctor, Jack Harkness Location: library Link to IJ: thread #5622 |
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 Jack responded like a child and kicked him in the shin. |
 "Ow," he bit Jack's shoulder. |
| He yelped at the bite and bopped the Doctor lightly in the side of the head. "Ouch." |
| The Doctor rolled them both to the ground, half-wrestling Jack. |
| Jack wrestled back, got pinned then flopped, sprawled under the Doctor and looking straight up into the swirl of stars. |
| The Doctor stroked Jack like a favorite pet, "Feel better?" |
| He very casually and quickly came up and smacked the Doctor under the chin with the heel of his hand. Not hard enough to be a punch, but not lightly, either. |
| The Doctor pinched Jack's hip, hard enough to hurt. |
| "I am not going to beat you up and feel better for it." |
| "Why not?" |
| "Because I don't need to hurt you," he said, wearily. |
| "You don't know what you need, Jack." |
| He looked at the Doctor, eyebrows going up a little. "Neither do you. Or you do and you just can't face it." |
| "No arguments," he said brightly. "But I don't claim to." |
| "I know I don't need to hurt you." |
| He stroked Jack's hair, "Okay." |
| He ground his teeth together. "And I really don't need to be treated like a fucking house pet by you." |
| "Who's doing that?" |
| "You're petting me." He actually sounded like he was going to cry. Again |
| "I like touching you." |
| "Why?" |
| "You're soothing." |
| "How?" |
| "You." He frowned, "Remind me of home." |
| He frowned, a little. "Gallifrey?" |
| "Don't." He exhaled hard, "Please don't. And other things." |
| He lifted his hand and touched the Doctor's face. "What other things." |
| "You trust me. I need that. I'm sorry." |
| "You're sorry you need to be trusted?" |
| "That I'm taking that from you." |
| "What?" He asked, not understanding at all.
No. NOt wanting to understand. Not having the words. He felt it, and knew it. |
| "I don't know how to explain it. I haven't done anything that I remember to deserve it." |
| He folded his arm under his head, and kept looking into the sky, and of billions of stars and dust, swept across the sky like an abstract painting in color and smeared, milky light.
"I was a kid when I joined the Time Agency. Tiny little town in the middle of nowhere. The whole town showed up to send me off. I was so young and naive," he said, just talking. "I was so in love with it all. I was such an idiot. One morning I woke up with a splitting headache, puking my guts up and years worth of memory missing. When I found out the Time Agency was responsible...." He trailed off for a minute, and sighed softly. "I ran. Time and space and played games with the Agency. Baiting them and telling myself I wanted my memory back. I did, but mostly I just wanted to. I don't know. Get something else back." Like faith, or innocence, or something he believed in. Believing differences could be made, and hec ould make them. "Anyway, world war two I was trying to run a con and instead of an agency ship I got you and Rose. " he smiled, faintly. "I almost destroyed humanity, but you saved it and then you saved me seconds from blowing up with my ship. You didn't like me, much, or trust me, but you saved me. You told me when I stepped on the TARDIS that I had to be bigger on the inside. I tried," he said, wearily, and more to himself than the Doctor. "God, I tried." |
| "You must have been or you wouldn't have been with me," The Doctor said softly, after listening. |
| "I was a coward. You made me believe I could be a hero. When you came up with a way to save earth from impossible odds - or at least keep humans from being turned into Daleks, I believed you and I died for you. I was a hero. Heros are meant to die at the end of the story, Doctor. When they don't, sooner or later it's harder to live for something than die for it, and nothing you can do is good enough, anyway. I think you probably get that part of the equation." |
| "I thought heroes never died," the Doctor said. |
| "Bullshit," he said with a quick grin. "They die. Then they have to go on living with all the shit they've done and things they've seen and the what-ifs." |
| "The whatifs?" |
| "Doubt. Regret. Wondering what you could have done differently, who you could have saved and who maybe you shouldn't have, and if that child you sacrificed was worth it. if any of it was." |
| "What do you usually think?" |
| "If it's worth it? I don't know, Doctor. I can't see all of time. All I have is today and tomorrow and yesterday. Sometimes yes, sometimes no, and sometimes I just want to forget it all for a while." |
| The Doctor rubbed Jack's back, "I'm sorry." |
| "You didn't do it," he said, simply. "Rose did, and she certainly wasn't malicious." |
| "I can be sorry for something I didn't do." |
| "You can regret it, but you can't apologize for it." |
| "Then I'll just regret it." |
| "That works for me." He grinned, quickly. "I trust you. You deserve it." |
| "Thank you." he kissed Jack's head, then stood and offered him a hand up. |
| He looked at the extended hand for a minute, then took it and pulled himself up. |
| The Doctor slid his arm around Jack's waist, "Come on." |
| "Where are we going?" |
| "The Tardis," he started walking Jack that way. |
| HE stopped moving. Well, voluntarily. "The TARDIS is here? Where are we going?" |
| "The TARDIS is here. The TARDIS doesn't know where 'here' is and keeps poppin' up on the other side of town when I try to get out of here." |
| "Why are we going to the TARDIS, then?" He asked, then paused. "Actually, maybe I can fix her." |
| "You think you can fix her when I can't?" he raised an eyebrow, "And we're goin' to the TARDIS because it's familiar." |
| "I don't know, but I know I'm not bad with your time machine." He kept his hands in his pockets as he walked. |
| The Doctor eyed him, "You flirt with her, don't you?" |
| He lifted his eyebrows. "Flirt implies I don't follow up, Doctor. " |
| "Have you had sex with my ship!?" his eyebrows flew UP |
| He grinned, brilliantly and evilly. |
| "You've had sex with my ship," he sighed. |
| He nodded, and kept grinning. "Oh, yeah. And she is fantastic." |
| "I can't be hearing this," he said seriously, belied by a tiny grin. |
| "And now you know why she likes me better than you," he said with a smirk. He took off walking again, digging his key out of his pocket as he went. He wanted that TARDIS, even if she wouldn't go anywhere. |
| The Doctor followed after him with a tiny smirk, "Yeah, I guess so." |
| He spotted the TARDIS, up ahead and under a lamp post, and unconsciously lengthened his stride, finding the TARDIS key on the ring by feel so he didn't have to waste time getting the door unlocked and getting in. |
| The Tardis was bright inside when they went in, burnished and gold and not at all upset to have Jack inside. She reacted like the Time Lord reacted.
The Doctor closed and locked the door behind them, letting Jack wander. |
| Jack smoothed his hand along one wall as he walked around the console, head cocked to the side and his eyes closed. It felt so fucking good to be there, to feel her, touch her, just to be home and feel safe. Inside bigger than the outside and less trapped for it. |
| She hummed for him and the Doctor went to the Captain's chair, stretching out in it and watching Jack. |
| Jack sat down, on the floor with his head leaned back against the wall, his eyes closed and his knees comfortably up, forearms resting against them. He prodded his shields lightly, not lowering them so much as leaning mentally back against them, and into the soft warmth and hum of the TARDIS.
"I love this ship." |
| "I can tell," The Doctor said softly, warmly. |
| "She's such a bitch," he agreed, smiling faintly. |
| "She's perfect and you love her," the Doctor snorted. |
| "She's tempermental and difficult and I love anyone who comes all over me." |
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